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The game plan: Resist locking limbs for the first month, says Argov. Holding out on getting horizontal may seem like a game with one booby prize — mutual sexual frustration. But letting erotic urges build will make him melt like butter on hot toast. No need to play the prude. Give him clues that you’re in touch with your carnal side. “Flirt, kiss, dress seductively — just make sure you’re in a situation where you can resist his advances,” says Argov. “That means stopping before you hit the bedroom door. Otherwise, he’ll feel duped.”

How everybody wins: Stalling on sex creates erotic anticipation and makes him feel special. “He knows that you’re discriminating about who you hop into bed with,” says Argov. Your reward? “Every man wants to have sex right off the bat. Whether he wants a girlfriend is something he thinks about later. By not giving him what he wants up front, he has to tackle the girlfriend issue first.”

Read more: Relationship Games You Should Play - Cosmopolitan

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The game plan: Don’t let him feel like he has a guaranteed spot on your social calendar. Simply let your guy know that you’re very interested in getting together…when you’re not at tango class, working on your screenplay or dining with friends. “Show him that he won’t dictate the terms of your relationship and that your life is not on hold for him,” says Argov. To really work the strategy, end dates and phone calls first, and cryptically mention your other plans with little or no elaboration. “When Dom and I first started dating, we would have brunch every Sunday,” says Georgia, 26. “Initially, I was digging him, but he would spend more time people watching than he would focusing on me. So the next weekend, I told him I couldn’t make it.” Dom’s reaction? He quickly surprised her with tickets to the theater and a bouquet of roses for the following Sunday. “Being booked was all it took to jostle him into action,” says Georgia.

How everybody wins: Maintaining your own life acts like claustrophobia kryptonite. “When you show that you like him but your world doesn’t revolve around him, it says you’re confident and self-reliant — two very sexy traits to a guy,” says Argov. “Men often fear losing their independence, but when a woman hints that she doesn’t need a guy, suddenly his fears of being smothered vanish and he’s begging to be penned into your day planner.” And, says Kreidman, “too many women brush off their friends and hobbies for a man. Playing this game gives her a better grip on balancing her life.”

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The game plan: When you date a guy you dig and get that urge to share your personal experiences, opinions, history…stop! Early-stage TMI is a major turn-off for most males. “Men feel disoriented when you disclose intimate details too soon,” says Kreidman. “You think you’re bonding, but he thinks you’re an open book to everyone.” What you censor — about your exes, family, friends, even your schedule — can be more powerful than what you reveal. So talk about your job and interests but stay mum about the juicier details. Soon enough, he’ll be dying to have you fill in the blanks. Jenny, 24, was able to pique her man’s interest by playfully dodging his questions. “Over dinner, Andy asked me if I was seeing other people. I just said teasingly, ‘Well, I certainly don’t stay home alone.’ I could see the intrigue was killing him.”

How everybody wins: Where there’s secrecy, there’s interest. “Men are hunters, and they want to discover for themselves what makes you tick,” says Fisher. “That curiosity drives up the levels of dopamine in his brain, a chemical that fuels the mad-love feeling.” Kreidman adds: “When you reveal something that’s truly weighty, he’ll feel like he’s earned your trust.” What’s in it for you? A guy who’s guaranteed to focus on hearing you out.

Read more: Relationship Games You Should Play - Cosmopolitan

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"how you hold yourself and show off what you’ve got"

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Fake It Until You Feel It

You know how some actors become so immersed in their roles that they practically become their characters? Well, taking on a confident, sexy persona can help you feel like a confident, sexy chick. “If you make a conscious effort to act self-assured, eventually you’ll begin to believe it,” says Irwin.

● Lose the loser mannerisms. Folding your arms, slouching, or gnawing on your cuticles is the equivalent of wearing a neon sign that screams “I feel totally out of place!”

● Strike a poised pose. On the other hand, projecting confidence through body language, will make people respond to you more positively, boosting your self-assurance. “Confident people ‘mark their territory,’ ” says Irwin. “So, hold your head high and keep your shoulders back.”

● Get out of your clothing comfort zone. You may think your fat jeans make you feel better when you’re feeling blah, but you’re actually perpetuating that“I’m a whale” mind-set every time you slip them on. “Dressing well reinforces for you that your body is special and deserves nice clothes,” says Hankin. That means trade the schlubby weekend wear for cute body-hugging threads that make you like what you see in the mirror.

● Lay a sexy foundation. The confidence- boosting clothing rule also applies to the duds people don’t see, i.e., your unmentionables. “The garments you wear closest to your skin affect how you feel,” says Hankin. So ditch the granny panties, and make your “special occasion” undies part of your everyday wardrobe. They’ll make you feel so sexy, you might even give your guy a spontaneous lingerie fashion show.

Read more: Feel Sexy in Your Skin - Cosmopolitan

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If someone told you that you could send insecurity packing and radiate serious sex appeal in and out of your clothes just by reading this article, would you believe it? If you said no (or even thought it for a fleeting second), then you’re exactly the kind of person who could totally benefit from what we’re about to tell you. You see, attitude counts for a lot in life, and making little adjustments to yours can pay off. For example, “shutting out the negative chatterbox in your head that criticizes every little perceived flaw and learning to appreciate your unique beauty is essential to true happiness and real confidence,” says Susan Jeffers, PhD, author of Life Is Huge.

Read more: Feel Sexy in Your Skin - Cosmopolitan

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5. You’re over your ex.
Nothing kills a budding romance quicker than being hung up on an old boyfriend. So before you get serious with a new guy, make sure you’re not hoping — or worse, trying — to get back together with the ex or looking for someone just like him. It’s relationship-repelling for two reasons: No dude wants to feel like he’s in an unwinnable competition, and if you’re living in the past, you won’t truly be motivated to meet and make a connection with new guys. So ladies, move on and get an upgrade.

Read more: How to Attract Guys - Traits That Attract Guys - Cosmopolitan

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"Have to keep faith that it will work out as it should. It’s hard to right now, though. Really hard."

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."